Sunday, January 20, 2013

the hug

i love traveling with my girl friends
but it is getting harder to travel together....
one, difficult to match each other's schedule as we grow and have our own obligations...
two, little bb

i know i would have lots of fun and crazy time traveling with the girls
and especially for our dearest's big birthday.
but still,
it was difficult for me to bear the thought of not being with little bb for days.

as little bb grows and starts interacting and talking more,
it gets more difficult for me....
as compared to when he was just several months old or even when he was one.
and the guilty feeling of not being with him gets stronger.

for the weeks before our trip to bangkok,
one minute i would be really looking forward to the trip
the next minute i would be feeling guilty...
and sometimes i would worry whether he would become less attached to me,
or even ignore me when i'm back home.

and for the week right before our trip,
i kept telling little bb that i would be away just for a few days.
i told him that i would be flying in an airplane
he asked,
"me too?"
"i want airplane"

it was an early evening flight
i rushed back home from work 
so that i could squeeze little extra moments with little bb.
it was right after his school and i got to pick him up from the school bus.

"come give mami a hug"

and my hug was too tight...
i was being pushed away...

being back for a week now,
it has proven that my worries were just worries.

i was told that little bb was looking for me while i was away... *smile*
and when i got home that day, he jumped up and down merrily,

i luv you

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