today is the first time i went out the whole afternoon in the past three weeks.
the scabs on my face are finally gone. and approved by my doctor, i can put on light make up to cover the marks. i tried it today, unfortunately, the make up doesn't help a lot. the marks are still visible.
families and friends have told me i will be fine. the marks will fade over time.
that i understand, it will take time. but the worse part is the pits.
there are at least 5 pits on my face. all fully visible. make up didn't help. .................. ..................
apart from the cream and serum recommended by the doctor, i don't know what else i can do with the pits. and i know that even with the cream and serum, the pits won't go away fully.
the first week of chicken pox was totally miserable, i was in pain, not so much itchiness actually, couldn't walk straight, couldn't talk cuz they were in my throat, totally miserable with what i see in the mirror. i ate nothing but congee.
the second week was equally painful, as apparently the virus has caused nerve inflammation. fever came and left a few times. couldn't sleep at night. when the chicken pox started to dry, the scabs made it painful for me to lie on my back in bed. i tried to think of everything else but the pain, to do things to keep myself busy when i have the energy.
this is the third week, medication eased the nerve inflammation but it made me extremely drowsy and dizzy. most of the scabs have fallen off. leaving a lot of marks and pits all over.
i don't know how i got the chicken pox. but it doesn't matter anymore it is what it is.
i would like to think of the past three weeks as a detox program. no coffee, no junk food, no french fries just congee, water, fruits and chinese drinks. well, maybe it sounds to good to name it as a detox program. i am still quite miserable despite of trying to think positive.
last friday, my appetite came back a bit and i had a salad of tomato and cucumber with japanese seaweed to go with ume soba cooked with okra for lunch. two dear friends came over at night, and i had the biggest dinner in the past three weeks.
i would like to stick with a healthy diet.... as much as i could...... if it helps with my health going forward.
and, i am very very thankful to somotu for being there and making me laugh.
to my mother and father for coming over, bringing things to me for baby sitting little bb.
and to little bb, brownie and sugar, for when i see them, i smile.
i will be reading and remembering these things 5, 10, 20.... years down the road:
♪ his current favorite book is richard scarry's best word book ever. last night, as usual, we read books before bed time.... he loves the book so much that he refused to let go of the book even when all the lights were off and his eyes were almost closed.... he hugged the book, very tight, with his two little hands. i tried to take the book away when he finally dozed off but he was still grabbing the book tight.
and why this is his favorite book? very simple, there were lots of cars cars cars cars cars in it!!
and why i bought this book? simply because it brought back fond childhood memories. one of my favorite books was a richard scarry one, an activity book which was thick like a dictionary. i remember sitting on the highchair by myself, happily reading, coloring, drawing away.
♪ yesterday, he surprised us by picking up a tiny little piece of "dirt" (actually a tiny ball of wool which fell off from one of our tops) from the floor and walked to his room, opened the lid of the garbage bin and threw the "dirt" in it. repeated the same sequence when he found another tiny little piece of "dirt". he must have picked this up from us. amazing how tiny people learned things quick! we must watch out for our own behaviors as before we knew it, we will be seeing these tiny people doing the same!
♪ he loves bubbles time
♪ for two things, i am 200% sure he got me in him. for one, he loves bread. he goes crazy and shouts "bao bao bao bao" when he sees bread, or even the sound of the plastic bag holding the bread. i can see him living on bread, just like me. for two, he loves music. as soon as he hears music, he grins and starts dancing away. his favorite one is still twinkle twinkle little star. when he holds up his hands, opens and closes them non-stop, we know it's time for twinkle twinkle little star again.
♪ as much as i tried, his favorite person is still daddy. he cries in such excitement when somotu comes home.... "ba ba ba ba" "ba ba ba ba". yes, i admit i am a bit jealous.
♪ he also got somotu in him, maybe 300%. he is crazy about cars. sometimes the first thing he says when he wakes up in the morning is "carrrrrrr".
♪ don't know why, but the word he can pronounce the best so far is TURTLE. i love the "r" sound he makes.
♪ he is excited about things moving in the sky. like birdies, airplanes, helicopters...... he will put his hands out and up and start flying away.
♪ the other day, he saw his grandma crying over the memories of my grandma. i realized it is the first time ever he saw a person crying. he stood still for a minute, then walked up to his grandma and looked at her in the most gentle and caring way i have ever seen of him. my mother later told me there were tears in his eyes.... she felt that he understood her feelings....
♪ he was a bit scared when he saw all the chicken pox and redness on my face.... and i couldn't help but felt sour and sad
little bb finally seems to understand when i say "don't move, mama wants to take a picture of you"
i have been staying home for two weeks already going out only to see the doctor although it is really nice to stay home and spend all the time with little bb, i do want to go outside, get some fresh air, and just walk around....