Tuesday, August 11, 2009

puzzled and stuck

am feeling puzzled and stuck and angry and upset...
yes
very mixed feelings
and
unfortunately
i have been feeling this way for the past month
and
it seems like the matter that is bothering me has yet to come to an end.


because the matter has not been settled
i have not been able to behave and act normal...
i feel like a big mess.


i am getting angry and upset with myself
because i feel that i can't make the decision
and
that i seem to be influenced by others too easily


whenever i need to stop thinking about this matter,
i let myself get sucked into things that doesn't need to use a lot of brain cells...
like doing the polyvore thing, messing around with photoshop and listening to music...


just like this past weekend,
i didn't want to think about the matter
and therefore i decided to re-create my two playlists on this blog.

it made me quite happy...
as i was able to find some songs which weren't available before and find some new ones...
like birdpaula's write you a letter,
lykke li's little bit
nouvelle vague's heaven, god save the queen
a cover version of MJ's rock with you
i even found some mandarin songs which i have yet to add the playlist here.


there are actually two upcoming things that i should be happy and excited about...
but the shadow of that matter is too big.... so big that i can't see anything else...


i really really really hope that this matter can come to a closure by the end of this week
otherwise i think i will really go crazy....

4 comments:

joop said...

aileen, we all feel this way once in awhile. Try listening to your heart deeply and run with it.

hope things will work out for you very soon.

angela THE ANGEL said...

are you ok dear?
what happened? anyway..
Ganbede!!! \(^o^)/
love,

ashlee 魚 said...

hope your mist will vanish swiftly.

is it happened on the island? if so, you will be free in days !!!

aileen ♥ motu said...

thx all my dear....